I Struggle

I struggle with money. I specifically struggle with people who have more money than I.

I struggle with love.  I’m sad without it.

I struggle with image.  I’m afraid of what people think.

I struggle with friendships.  Sometimes I just want love.

I struggle with finding God.  I wish I felt more in tune and close.

I struggle with closeness.  Friendship is bad enough.  Without love, it’s doubtful I’ll reveal my secrets.

I struggle with relationships.  I can’t wait until the day I’m married.  I truly look forward to that day.  The day’s until, though, I dread.

I struggle with inadequacy.  Being surrounded by so many talented people makes me feel so small.

I struggle with confidence.  I just don’t seem good enough.

I struggle with being a Christian.  Sometimes it seems like I just can’t get things right.

I struggle with giving God control.

I struggle with honesty.  That’s the sole reason I made myself write this.

 

Excuse me for venting, but I needed to tell someone.  I struggle with so many things every day.  I’ve realized how much I’ve learned to dislike my self so easily. I’ve finally began to learn that God can change that.  Still, I pray I don’t forget.

I don’t say this to make myself sound terrible and pitiful, I say this as an acknowledgment that I am trying to change.  Being honest is the first step, so I’m trying it.

I think I’m going to use this blog to try to help.

Consider this a new kick off.

 

On a more positive note, I’m thankful for so much in this life.  I know I’m truly blessed with the people God surrounds me with. My family, friends, and even some of my teachers have been so encouraging to me.  But most of all, I wish I could let everyone at Crosspoint know how much I love and cherish them.  There are far too many to count, but you guys have literally changed my life.  I honestly don’t know where I’d be without you.  I would certainly not be here.  Seeing everyone there is the best part of my week and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.  Doug, John, Jeffery, Liz; You guy’s specifically have ment so much to me recently.  Thank you. =)

Honesty works both ways you know!

So yet again.  Consider this a kick off!