This night

Remember when I talked about community?  Well, I wanted to come here to MTSU in hopes of finding that amazing community.  These first few day’s have been rough on that side of things, though.  I’ve been here for almost a week now and really haven’t met many new people.  My roommate is awesome and i’m so blessed to have someone I can get along with and enjoy being around but one person doesn’t make up that community.  Now, if you know me at all, you know i’m not a social person.  More than likely, if I don’t know you and i’m not in a comfortable environment I won’t say the first word.  I love to talk if you come to me, but I’m just not the initiator.  With that in mind, these last few days have been pretty lonely for me.  I miss everyone.  I really do.  The sense of home has just been ripped right out of me and flipped upside-down.  At the same time, I love it here.

I’ve been thinking about this whole loneliness thing though.  I was so worried about it staying like this.  I just wouldn’t be able to let that happen, yet i felt like i couldn’t do much about it.  Here I sit now, though, with a whole new perspective.

I had thought and prayed about this problem for the past few days now.  While sitting around a couple of hours ago I had this urge to just go outside and play guitar.  Unfortunately, there was loud music blasting outside of our dorm for an event that was going on.  Finally I decided to just get away from the music and find a place to sit and play.  There was this whole awkward walk while I looked around for somewhere to sit.  I would overhear someone say something like, “what’s up with that guy with the guitar?” or something to that effect.  I almost just turned back, too.  Finally though, I decided to plop down in the big circle surrounded by  some of the more popular buildings on campus (the library, business and aerospace, and mass com buildings).  I sat there and quietly played some music.  Nothing loud, no singing, just playing softly.  Eventually I played a song just a tad louder and a guy came over and told me that he raps and is doing some recording and would like me to collaborate with him.  That was awesome.  After we talked and he left, some girls (who were foreign exchange student’s and awesome) asked me to play another song.  I did and talked to them for a bit.  Then, another guy came up and talked to us.  Eventually the girls left and i got to talk to this guy.

I’m so glad I did too.

This guy is such an inspiration to me.  I don’t know why, but something about him was different.  We got to talking and we got into faith and it was just amazing to hear what he had to say.  He was so encouraging, it was just amazing.  He had this amazing story about how he almost died, woke up from a comma, and praises God every second now for it.  After a while though some other people came up and he got me to play for them.  They asked if i’d be back and I said i would thursday (as did someone else earlier).

Eventually we started walking back and then ended up sitting somewhere else talking while he waited for a call.  I showed him ‘How he loves us’ and then we ended up singing ‘Lord I Lift Your Name On High,’ when a girl a while away yelled, “play Sanctuary.”  We got the two girls to come over to tell us what that was, and then we sang it.

I ended up talking to one of the girls till almost midnight.  We got into religion and I still just feel like I missed an opportunity.  You see, one of her parent’s is Christian and the other is Pagen.  She believes a mixture of both.  While I tried to talk to her about what I believed in hopes of her understanding, it really didn’t do much.  Though, we still continued conversing.

I’m a bit discouraged, though.  For the first time in my life I was really put in this situation and I just didn’t know what to do.  I found it hard to figure out what to say.  I feel like there is this part of me missing from my faith.  It’s like this whole defense section is missing.  I’m still confused about what to do.  I just need to learn.. Idk.

Overal though, this night has just been a blessing.  I prayed for community and I have no doubt that this was God’s way of showing me that there is hope.  That I shouldn’t give up.  I do, however still pray that I can learn to defend myself, defend my religion, defend my God.

I’m still praying and i’ll never stop.

The Call for Community

If you don’t know already, I’m leaving for MTSU on Friday.  These past few day’s have been pretty hectic.  Goodbye’s aren’t easy.  I’ve gotten a big taste of that.  It tastes bad, btw.

So, tonight was my last night at church.  It crushed me, too.  My church is this amazing community that is always there and never fails for me.  I’ve come to realize that it’s one of the most important parts of my life.  Now I have to let it go.  Well, the people.  The church will always be a part of my life.  Still, It’s tough.  Really tough.

Tonight we continued talking about community.  It’s really started to get me thinking though.

Community is a big deal.  Like, it really needs to happen.  Sure, you can get through life without it, but you miss all of the good stuff.  All of the important stuff.

Our pastor has been talking about “the space between” a lot over the past few weeks.  It’s the space in a persons life between their salvation and the promise of eternal life.  There’s just all this extra time that we’ve been handed.  Yes, if you’re a Christian you’re promised eternal life, but there’s just way to much at stake with everyone else to be wasting that time in between being average and doing nothing.

Let’s see what Community means according to Dictionary.com

1. a social group of any size whose members reside in a specific locality, share government, and often have a common cultural and historical heritage.

2. a locality inhabited by such a group.

3. a social, religious, occupational, or other group sharing common characteristics or interests and perceived or perceiving itself as distinct in some respect from the larger society within which it exists (usually prec. by the ): the business community; the community of scholars.

4. a group of associated nations sharing common interests or a common heritage: the community of Western Europe.

5. Ecclesiastical . a group of men or women leading a common life according to a rule.

6. Ecology . an assemblage of interacting populations occupying a given area.

7. joint possession, enjoyment, liability, etc.: community of property.

8. similar character; agreement; identity: community of interests.

9. the community, the public; society: the needs of the community.

A bunch of those come close to community but never really hit the nail on the head.  You know what they’re missing?  Trust.

You can’t have community without trust, it just doesn’t work.

Pete Wilson has a great way of putting it in his blog post Artificial Harmony.

…if you’ve surrounded yourself with community that won’t speak truth to you then you don’t really have community as much as you have a gathering of convenient relationships.

That’s about as real as it gets.  Truth is the piece that keeps community together.

Our church belives that true transformation comes from real, true community.  I totally agree with that.  You can’t grow by keeping everything supressed inside.  In a true community trust is so strong that there is no problem of judgment or secrets or all of those silly things.  It’s a place where you can be real and everyone can be real back to you.  Community is no new thing either.  It’s been around forever, literally.

Here’s an example:

⁴²They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. ⁴³Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. ⁴⁴All the believers were together and had everything in common. ⁴⁵Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. ⁴⁶Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, ⁴⁷praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

Acts 2:42-47 (NIV)

We as believers have been a part of community for forever and now is no time to stop.  Even Jesus surrounded himself with community.  He found himself with a bunch of guys who shared everything and traveled and lived together.  Shouldn’t we be like Jesus too?

As I was saying before, I’m leaving for college on Friday.  My prayer is that I can use the amazing opportunity for community that God has given me to it’s full potential.  I know there is so much to be learned over the course of the next few year’s and I hope I can share that time with other people.

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²⁵Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Hebrews 10:25 (NIV)